A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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