I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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