God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
