butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize