That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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