So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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