Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Sorry about my life...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
