one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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