this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!