My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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