its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
