Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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