we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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