two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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