Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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