I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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