I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
