I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize