Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED