Me. At least after what I've been through.
dude i'm inner monologue high
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
