Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
17 People Admit the Worst Thing They’ve Done To a Server
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.