Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
my poor anus
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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