I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize