big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
