she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize