FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Found your dick twin last night
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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