Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
