I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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