I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
