Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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