apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize