I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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