He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
