Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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