i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
