How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
