oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
