I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
