Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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