it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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