the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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