1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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