I think I just saw someone hide a body.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You can't motorboat a personality
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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