Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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