Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
