Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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