sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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