I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
