Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You smell like stripper and shame
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Randomize