So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
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he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
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You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My ass is underappreciated
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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