wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
