It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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