"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
