I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize