he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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