He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
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