Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
