I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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