he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
that's an acceptable place to lick
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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